I like to seduce men...we women have all the weapons: hips, eyes, bottom...

When Elizabeth Rosa says 'lesbian', it comes out as 'lethbian'. So it's official: Catalans have the sexiest speech impediments in the world. Yeth, Elithabeth comes from that part of Spain where the words 'Latin' and 'lovely' go together like 'Basque' and 'separatist' (no, make that 'stocking').

Her grasp of English might be shakier than Manchester City's back line, but after a few minutes of intensive Maxim coaching, she'd mastered the basics ('hello', 'yes' and 'lethbian'), and was ready to talk.

Although not terribly eloquent on the constitutional ramifications of the 1832 Reform Act, Rosa comes over all Oscar Wilde when waxing lyrical about men.

Luckily, it seems she likes us. Communicating her amorous intentions through the international language of dark, flashing eyes and coy smiles, Elizabeth tells us she adores men, has constantly to fight to keep her hands off us and, best of all, that she and her sister hope one day to 'share one for a couple of hours'.

It's only then that the spoilsport interpreter ruins things by pointing out that what Elizabeth is actually saying is something to do with mobile phones. 'I use mine to flirt with boys,' says the saucy senorita. 'You can suggest things that you wouldn't dare say to someone's face. Or if you meet someone at a club and exchange mobile numbers, you can say goodbye, then call him ten minutes later and tell him you're outside waiting...' Sounds like a lot of hard work. 'But I like to seduce men,' protests the 21-year-old. Yes, it must be a real challenge for you. 'No, no,' she says, with the traditional foreigner's grasp of irony. 'We women have all the weapons: hips, eyes, bottom...' This we know.

The point of the advert is to show that Elizabeth uses her Internet phone to check on star signs. All very nice, but couldn't she think of anything more, um, adult to do on the net? 'I don't know what you mean,' she says innocently. 'I only ever surf the net to look at Sting sites.'

Yes, unfortunately this doesn't mean she's a fan of scorpions, but rather that limp Geordie with the lady's falsetto. So you do like British men? 'No, not really. I prefer Spanish guys.' The news just keeps getting worse: some meddling fool has already taught her the English for 'No thank you, I have a boyfriend.' Darn.