WHAT'S IT ABOUT? A 300-strong Spartan army take on a tyrant's massive army, comprising of 10-foot ogres, masked zombies and rampaging elephants!

ANY GOOD? The first 30 or so minutes are duller than bread soup, then it explodes into an hour-long, super-stylised, gut-rupturing battle scene. Not much substance but who gives a poo.

WHICH BIT SHOULD I SKIP TO? The bit where the fighting commences. Then sit back and enjoy the blood feast!